Tuesday, November 20, 2007

guns and beaches

Despite her deep hatred of the NRA and Mr. Heston my ‘little rain cloud’ was kind enough to agree to pose like this and model the ‘Amazing Flygun’ for you:

Kate generally adopts a buddhist-esque refusal to hurt (or even inconvenience) anything that is innocent or oblivious; except for me. But she is close to making a second exception for Australian flies. The ‘gun’ is manufactured by ‘Wonderfully Weird’ of Cape Town Africa where, I gather, flies must be a very big problem to inspire such creativity. This is the only product this company sells.

I was committed to the $10 purchase the minute I read the packaging. Here it is:

“The most effective shooting position is directly above the fly at a distance of 30 – 60 cms. Don't make sudden movements and the fly won't see you as a threat. Now gently squeeze the trigger … goodbye fly!! Shooting flies at an angle is a bit harder and needs practise. If you fancy yourself as a real Amazing Flygun expert then you can try knocking out a fly in mid-flight. It's not easy but it can be done. Happy hunting!"

Also, here is some powerful red-army-style anti-fly propaganda from their website:

-Flies can carry typhoid, cholera, diarrhoea, amoebic dysentery, T.B, anthrax, gangrene, bubonic plague, leprosy, scarlet fever and yellow fever.
-Flies vomit on food before eating it
-Flies defecate every 4-5 minutes
-Flies don't bite or sting … they stab
-Despite years of trying, no researcher has ever been able to teach flies anything… cockroaches learn, even worms learn … but never

Outside of fly hunting, we have been playing some volleyball lately. Last weekend at Burleigh beach Kate and I found ourselves playing on adjacent courts. How's this for a photo? Thanks Rob.

I continue to be impressed by my wife’s rapid rate of improvement. It reminds me of our friend Jocelyn back home who spent a few years watching Gareth and then just showed up one season without much warning and was suddenly very good. Here is Kate is posing with her recent partner Nicky and below playing with last weekend's partner Lib. Also, like the most veteran beach players, Kate is already showing an aptitude for bouncing between partners :)

I’ve decided to show you this next picture because it is so full of information. First this is Glen Horner (‘Horse’) my teammate with his girlfriend Nicky, Kate’s teammate. I am aware of the level cheese inherent in that last statement.

Glen and Nicky are very likeable people but there's some more to this picture. In the background beside Glen's head is Rob in very typical form talking up some brunette. The young man is always hard at work. Also, right above Nicky there is a child walking through with a little surfboard. There are many many children here that can barely walk but can surf very well. By our common standards of ‘safety’ these kids would never be allowed near the raging ocean but apparently in Australia they are safe in the waves for hours. It doesn’t make sense. Also unintentionally captured, on the left, there is a random bum. This is appropriate because, as I have said before, there are a lot of those everywhere too.

The other unique thing about the Queensland tour is that each year it moves to a new set of locations. There is so much sand here you can set up a tournament in a hundred different places. I am still in awe of the scenery at these tournaments.

If you look closely at that last one you will find a lonely surfer. This kid had a lot open water to himself. Middle of the day and no other surfers for hundreds of meters on either side. The waves were pretty small but it was still awesome to see him out there all alone like he owned the place.

Let me finish by admitting that although we are truly enjoying living here we're also lately going through a phase of feeling somewhat home sick. Both Kate and I are feeling it but not quite to the same degree. Kate has been very regular about calling home. She definitely misses mom and dad and Canada. She has even gone so far as to start making very advanced plans by looking at real estate in Montreal. I also miss family and friends and want to go back home, but not quite yet. We just got here. Canada is not going anywhere. Plus if I called home too often my parents would probably assume something was wrong. No news is good news for us. Even from Australia. I suppose that in some ways Kate and I are pretty different. It makes sense to me: I immigrated and moved around as a kid and have always been adjusting to change whereas Kate was very happily grounded living her entire childhood in the same house that Ken and Sandy still own. Hey, it's one theory anyway. Here’s a picture of your daughter talking to you Sandy. Check out the smile.

(no flies were harmed in the making of this blog post)

1 comment:

260 Days said...

Jake...you should be surfing with that kid! Get into it, you have 2 years to learn to shred...and only about 3 months until I get there! I just looked at some boards the other day and once we have a place to stay I'll be out surfing as much as I can.